It's Hard

   

     The past week I found myself going down a negative trail.  I got stuck there for a weekend and then the Lord snapped me out of it on Monday morning.  I started thinking about all of the "hard" in my life.  Please don't compare my hard to your hard.  I don't have a baby getting up in the middle of the night, I don't homeschool, and I don't work outside of the home all of which I think are really hard.  I have had harder seasons and I know that it is likely that I will have harder seasons in my future.  The truth of the matter is that we all have some hard stuff going on in our lives, don't we?

     My hard consists of the crazy schedule of getting four boys off to school in the morning:  four lunches packed, breakfast served, hubby served, dog dealt with, squabbles between siblings dealt with,  and time with the Lord so I don't bite someone's head off before 8:00 am.

     Then there is the serving outside of the home, volunteering in my children's classes, and keeping up the house.  I can't ever seem to get on top of my kitchen.  It's constantly messy. ( I actually had to clear the mess out of the way to get the picture for this post.)  Laundry....don't get me started.  Clean bathrooms.  You know when you have four boys you have to clean the bathrooms at least three times a week.  Then there are groceries to gather for these growing boys.  I think almost all of our money goes to feed these boys.

     Then there is the after school.  It's like a marathon after school.  Can you relate?  From three in the afternoon until bedtime I better have my game face on.  You know the drill...homework galore, a few more squabbles,  dinner, activities, bedtime routines, etc.  By nine o'clock, I am exhausted.

     So that leads to another hard...it's hard connecting with my hubby in this season of life.  We are both trying to find creative ways to connect.  We are both working hard and by the time we get the boys in bed, we are ready for bed.  We are trying to be creative to find ways to connect and to have fun.

     So there is a glimpse of my hard.  It doesn't sound that bad.  But this past weekend I was consumed by it.  I was down.  Then I spent some time with the Lord on Monday morning.  I read the verse Philippians 4:8 and looked at several translations.  I love how the Living Bible says it "Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.  Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine good things in others."  What stuck out to me is that I need to FIX my thoughts on that which is positive.  I need to DWELL on that which is positive.  I had allowed my mind to be filled with the negative the past week.  It's okay to acknowledge the negative but I need to DWELL on the positive. There are so many positives in my life but I have to remind myself daily to look for them.  I am so thankful for my boys and my hubby, I am so thankful for this crazy busy season, I am so thankful I can stay at home, I am so thankful I can serve my family and others, I am so thankful I have good friends and the list goes on.

     So if you have found yourself being consumed with negativity lately, I am very sorry.  It's not a fun place to be.  Begin dwelling on the positive and ask God to help you see the positive all around you.

     Lastly, in our hard, we may have some control over things that need to change.  In my case it might be my schedule.  So just keep this in mind too!  Talk to the Lord about it.  Hugs to all of you.


   

Famous at Home

 
     Recently I read a book on prayer called Drawing the Circle.  In the book, the author shared how he prays to be famous in his home.  This concept really impacted me, and I have started praying this over myself as well.  If I am honest there are times when serving outside of the home can give me immediate thanks or approval.  It's not that serving is a bad thing.  It's just something I need to keep in check.  Over the past few days I have thought about what it means to be famous at home.  I am not talking about being their best friend and not establishing expectations and not giving consequences.  Famous can be defined as "first rate or exceptional".  Here are some questions I have been asking myself and maybe you can ask yourself as well.

1.  Am I present with my children?  I want them to know without a doubt that they are more important than an email, a text, the news, Pinterest, Facebook, etc.  How can I implement this?  I can set up guardrails by checking email or Pinterest once or twice a day.  When we are at the park, I can be intentional about being present and involved.  When they are at football or gymnastics, I can be a captive audience.  Recently, I read a book by Jeff Goins and he shared, "What if we are so caught up in not missing anything that we miss the important stuff right in front of us."  That really stuck with me.

2.  Am I connecting with them on a regular basis?  I want to connect with each one of them and spend one-on-one time with them.  The best way for my husband and I to do this is to have a schedule for our dates with them.  I also try to connect with them at home whether it's tossing a football, playing Uno, or simply watching them ride a skateboard.  I have to remind myself to stop what I am doing and engage with them. I don't always do a great job on this.  There's always room for improvement.

3.  What are my priorities?  Do I give and give outside of the home or do I save energy for my family?  I had great teaching on this as a young mom.  The priorities are suppose to be:  God, family, church, and others.  Sometimes we think serving at church is more important than serving our own family members.  We are called to be the keeper of our home and our family.  I can get pulled in many directions so I have to be on guard.  Also regarding priorities, it's so important for me to make sure my husband is a priority over my children.  It's an area that I really have to pay attention to in my life.

4.  How am I treating my family?  Am I grumpy, irritable, discontent, impatient?  Sometimes I am.  My desire is to be someone who is gentle, kind, and even tempered.  I have been praying lately that I will be a gift to my children (Ann Voskamp).  I find that when I am not guarding my schedule or if I am not taking care of myself with my eating and exercise I can get a little bit more unpleasant.

5.  Do I delight in my children?  Do I see my children as a duty or do I delight in them and have fun with them?  I have read it's so important to ask children questions and listen rather than "talking at them" all of the time.  Do I jump on the trampoline, play chase, play football, or simply sit down and watch a movie?  Sometimes I do.  I am always blessed by entering into their world.

     By writing this article I have found a theme.  It's so important to be intentional as a parent.  Some days I miss the mark.  I over schedule my time, I lose it with a kid, or I don't take care of myself, or I glance at technology too much.  But I can't get this prayer out of my head.  Will you join me in praying these two things:

1.  Lord, help me to be famous in my home.

2.  Lord, help me to be a Gift to my family.

Hugs to all of you precious moms.

Connecting with Children

     We have not always done a great job of connecting with our children.  To be quite honest, connecting with four children can be overwhelming.  It is important to us to connect with them on a personal level but for years we stumbled around and we were inconsistent.  For the past two years, we have implemented a routine that works really well for us.

Connecting at home:  It is easy for me to connect with two of my children at home.  They enjoy playing board games, pool, or tossing the football.  I have struggled to find ways to connect with the other two. I have studied them and prayed and asked God to show me ways to connect with them.  I have found in recent months they just like me to watch them ride their skateboards or sit near them and watch them read or play a video game.  They just want to be with me.  Study your child and ask God to give you common ground with your child.  

Connecting outside of the home: This is the area that was highly challenging for my hubby and I .  We wanted to take them on "daddy/mommy dates" but we got overwhelmed with trying to do this on a monthly basis.  Now we have found a routine.  My husband takes two children a month on individual dates.  This seems to be manageable for our family.  Find a routine that works well for your family.

Three tips for the dates (my boys call them "trips"):  I usually let them pick the outing.  Sometimes they pick going to a movie, to dinner, or on a hike.  I have found that "time" is the key factor.  Early on I made the mistake of taking them to Target to let them pick out something to buy, but I realy didn't spend time with them.  Now, if I want to buy them something, we go to the park first or for ice cream.  The second tip involves playing "The Would You Rather Game".  My younger two boys love me to ask them random questions in the car and it usually leads to deeper conversations.  My last tip is that I try to end the dates by telling them five things I love about them.  Some of them really "light up" and some of them just nod.  

Connecting through a journal:  The last way that I try to connect with the boys is through a journal.  I got this wonderful idea off of pinterest last year.  Each week I write a simple note to each boy in their journal pointing out their strengths for the week.  Some of the boys love this and are very grateful while some of the boys don't show much emotion but that's okay with me!

It is truly busy trying to connect with each child but it so worth it.  I also have to remind myself often to connect with my hubby and do special things for him.  I have to say that connecting with the Lord each day helps me in the crazy but fun journey of parenthood.  I would love to hear your ideas as well!!  Hugs to all of you precious moms.

Prayer Chart for Moms

     As a young mom, I read the book called "A Woman After God's Own Heart".  In the book the author suggested that you make a prayer chart.  Well, that was over ten years ago and I still use this chart to start my day.  I have also made one for my children and you can view it on my blog as well.  Hugs to all of you precious moms!

Volume 2 Devotional for Kids

The first volume included the Psalms and Proverbs.  This second volume will have scriptures from the New Testament.  If you missed the first volume, you can find it on my blog.  As I mentioned before, most of these scriptures are from the Message Bible.  Some are from various devotionals or books I have read over the years.  I bought a 50 page index card booklet and printed the verses on the pages.  I added stickers to decorate it.  I have placed  these booklets by my older two boys beds so they can read from it each night.

Here are the verses:

Love one another.
Think about God more than yourself.
God is on your side. Romans 8
Get along with others.  1 Cor 1
Love cares more for others than self. 1 Cor 13
Look for the best in others.  1 Cor 13
God wants to have a relationship with you.
Don't compare yourself to others.  Gal. 6
Nothing is too hard for the Lord.
Let your words be helpful.  Eph 4
Keep company with God. Eph 5
Be agreeable.  Phil 2
Pray often for a likeminded friend.
Instead of worrying, pray.  Phil 4
Put on compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, and love each day.  Col 3
Be even tempered. Col 3
Keep your eyes wide open in gratitude.  Col 4
Do your best. Col 3
Speak encouraging words to others.  1 Thes 5
Pray for others. 1 Tim 2
Be content with who you are.
Share what you have with others. Heb 11
Live well, live wisely, live humbly.  James 3
Real wisdom is gentle and reasonable. James 3
Don't bad mouth others.  James 4
Don't complain about others.  James 5
God cares about the details of your life.  James 5
Don't retaliate.  James 5
Say nothing evil or hurtful. 1 Pet 3
Don't live your life in wanting mode.  Be a giver.
Love God and love people. 1 Jn 4
God loves you all of the time.  He loves you when you are good and when you mess up.
Be devoted to prayer.  Talk to God often.
Guard against self pity.  Think of others.
Refuse to worry.
Do not let your heart be troubled.  Talk to God.
God is your ever present help.
God is your constant companion.
God is with you and for you.
You face nothing alone.
There is always a negative and positive list in your life. Focus on the positive.
Ask God how to serve others.
Let others praise you.
Pray for yourself.
God is all powerful.  He can do anything.

Click on the link to print out your own copy:
Volume 2 truths

Hugs to all of you precious moms!

Encouragement for Your Mommy Heart

I typed these reminders for you and for me.  Be encouraged precious mom.

Some days are long and exhausting and you may feel like you are operating in survival mode.....
Ask God to help you moment by moment and watch for His help.  Let others help you too.

Some days it's hard to extend grace over and over again to your child.....
Remind yourself your child is a gift and needs lots & lots of love and grace.

Some days are hard, full of bickering, chaos, busyness, & etc......   Thank God for new days and ask Him to renew your strength each morning.

Some days you might hope your child forgets a glaring look, a harsh word, or a raised tone that was directed towards them.....   Ask for forgiveness from God & your child and pray to be gentle, kind, and even tempered.

Some days your child's weaknesses may be screaming out at you.....    Remind yourself of your child's strengths, there are many.  Look for the best in your child. 

Some days you may not "get your child" or understand your child.....  Ask God to help you understand and to help you find ways to connect with your child.

Some days you may have the thought "You are far from being a perfect mom.".....    Simply embrace the truth that God does not expect perfection from you and you will never be a perfect mom.

Some days may be boring being as a stay at home mom.....  Remind yourself that being at home with your children is a high calling and it has much purpose.

Some days you may be depressed or in a "funk"......  Ask God to encourage you some how and watch for Him to answer your prayer.  Also try to serve someone that day.

Some days you may not feel appreciated from your family.....    Remind yourself often that you are doing "kingdom work" for the Lord.

Some days technology may lure you in more than it should......    Refocus and give most of your attention to God, your family, and others.

Every single day there are gifts to be found, ask God to help you see them.

Every single day there is something to be grateful for.  Choose to look.

Every single day you have a Helper waititng to help you.  Ask Him.

Every single day you are loved by God whether you have an awesome day as a mom or a terrible day.

Every single day receive God's love and grace and then pour it out.  Be a blessing.

Print this out for free by clicking on the link:
Encouraging truths

HUGS TO ALL OF YOU PRECIOUS MOMS!!

DIY Daily Devotional for Children/Teens

So here is the finished project.  This little booklet is super easy and cheap to make.  Supplies needed:  a sharpie, a 3 x 5 spiral book of notecards (50 count), some cute paper, stickers, and a list of truths/verses that I have compiled for myself and for you!  You can complete this project in less than an hour!

Why did I make this for my children?  The first reason is that I recently read a book called Sticky Faith. It shared the research is showing that children from Christian homes are not sticking to their faith when they leave home.  What???  The book put a little bit of fear into me.  I am just being honest.  The book was insightful and helpful as well.  It stated the most important factor in shaping a child's life is the Christian life modeled by parents.   Do they see me reading my Bible?  Do they hear me talking about God through the day?  Do they hear me praying out loud for them, for others, for myself?  Do they hear me sharing about my shortcomings or mistakes or messes?  Do I really listen to them?

The second reason that I made this booklet was because I have a teenager now and he is no longer reading some of the children's Bible story books.  I want him to be able to read a truth a day and I am hopeful he will meditate on it.  I have been sharing with him how I study the New Living Bible and The Message Bible in hopes that he will be drawn to read it on his own one day soon.  I simply read a chapter a day and find verses to pray or to meditate on for the day.

For this booklet, I searched my Message Bible for verses I have underlined over the years.  I also used truths from other books/devotionals.  I compiled these into two spiral 3 x 5 books.  The first volume has the Proverbs and the Psalms. The second volume is from the New Testament.  I will post volume 2  next week.  Because the Message Bible reads like a story book, I don't always list the number of the verse.

Here are the spiritual truths/verses for you to print out. Click on the link:
spiritual truths

God's plans for your life are too numberous to count. Ps 40
The Lord is always with you. Ps 16
The Lord delights in you.  Ps 18
May God show you the right path for your life.  Ps 25
May God direct you along the best path for your life. Ps 32
The Lord is completely trustworthy all of the time. Ps 33
Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust Him and He will help you. Ps 37
God delights in the details of your life.  Ps 37
Look for God in creation.
Pray about the big and small things in your life.
May God fulfill His purpose for your life.  Ps 57
Trust in the Lord at all times.  Ps 62
Find something to be thankful for each day.
Take responsibility when you mess up.
God does not ever expect perfection from you.
The Lord wants to help you each day.  Ask Him.
You belong to the God Most High. Ps 73
The Lord is always for you. Ps 118
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go. Ps 121
God thinks precious and good thoughts about you. Ps 139
God holds everything together.
God is your Helper.  He loves to help you.
Nothing can separate you from God's love.
The Lord watches over you.
Give generously.
Be a blessing to others.
Build others up.
Be an encourager.
Refuse to gossip or talk about others.
Each day is a gift.
Keep company with God.
Look for things to be thankful for.
God has a good plan for your life. Jer 29:11
Pray often for Godly friends.
God hears every prayer.
If bad companions tempt you, don't go along with them. Prov 1
Love God more than anything. Prov 1
Choose wise friends. Prov 2
Trust God always. Prov 3
Honor God with all you own. Prov 3
Hold wisdom tightly. Prov 3
Don't squander or waste your life.  Prov 5
Be a hardworker.  Prov 6
A wise heart takes orders. Prov 10
Keep a cool head.  Prov 11
Don't lead a life devoted to things. Prov 11
Wise people take advice. Prov 12
Be slow to anger. Prov 14


I am having fun personalizing these.  I am making them for my sweet friend's children as well.  Just a side note.  Some of my very favorite children's Bibles include the Jesus Storybook Bible (ages 4-8), the Action Bible (ages 10-12 boys), The Kids Chronological Bible (ages 12-14), and I love all of Kenneth Taylor's Bibles for kids. Hugs to all of you precious moms.

Goodnight Blessings

     I am reading the One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann Voskamp.  I highly recommend it.  On Day 36, she quoted C.S. Lewis as saying "The most fundamental thing is not how we think of God but rather what God thinks of us."  This really impacted me and I searched God's Word to see what He thinks of His children.  I collected several truths and I plan to post these by the boy's beds.  My youngest boy is six years old so he is able to read simple things.  If your children are younger, read these truths aloud over them.   The purpose of repitition is for these truths to sink way down deep into their hearts.  Pray and ask God to make their hearts tender to these truths and to Him.

These are the truths I have collected:

God cares about you deeply.

God is always close.

God cares about the details of your life.

God loves you all the time.

God loves you when you are good and when you mess up.

God watches over you as you come and go.

God has a special plan for your life.

God's plans for you are too numerous to list.


You can print out your own at this link for free!!
Goodnight Blessings:

 
 These are all based on scripture.  I wanted to keep them simple and easy for the boys.  Heck, I may even need to post these by my bed! : ) Hugs to all of you precious moms!!

10 Things

     We were at the beach with our boys.  I know that sounds blissful.  It was so much fun but vacation with four boys is still a lot of work and very busy to say the least. I brought the Message Bible along.  Truthfully, I don't always read the Bible on vacation, but this time I did.  I decided to read Philippians and the scripture that popped out at me was from Phil 2 "Provide people with a glimpse of good living and the living God".  I really thought about this verse.  I am not sure that I have done a great job of this, there is room for improvement.   Then I took it further.  What do I want to teach them about God's Word before they leave home.  I came up with 10 things for now.  Here it goes.

 I WANT TO TEACH THEM:

1.  about the Living God.  I can do this by drawing attention to His creation such as nature, animals, the weather, etc.  How? I can pray each day that I see Him at work and give Him the credit.  When we encounter hard things in our day, I can pause and pray out loud. 

2.  that God is entirely and completely trustworthy.  We may not always understand why things are happening and life can be hard.  I want them to realize He is always at work and He knows what is best for us.  He is always on our side and with us.  How? I can remind them time and time again of His faithfulness in our lives regarding moves, friendships, etc. 

3.  this more than anything else.... "LOVE GOD & LOVE PEOPLE".  They can know every Bible story but if they don't love people, they have missed it totally.   How can I teach them this?  By providing opporutunities for them to serve and to give to others.  I have this saying posted throughout the house (in the bathroom, in the kitchen).

4.  to cultivate a thankful heart each day.  A thankful heart helps us get our focus off of ourselves, off of the junk in our lives.  How?  I can provide an example of journaling thanks each day. ( I leave my thankful journal in the kitchen so they can spy it) I can encourage them to journal thanks as well. However, not every boy loves the idea of journaling.  

5.  to understand that God's love for them does not fluctuate.  God's love for us is not based on our behavior or our performance.  He does not love us more if we strive to be "perfect".  How can I help them grasp this? By reminding them in instruction/discipline that God loves them and so do I even when they blow it. 

6.  to realize there is always a negative and positive list in our lives. We can acknowledge the negative but our focus should be on the positive.  If we let our minds focus on the negative for too long, depression, discouragment, and defeat will be the result. How? When they are struggling, help them to see the positive list. 

7.  to depend on God daily.  We have to fight off self-reliance and independence.  We live in a world that pushes us to be strong and succeed.  God is drawn to us when we ask for His help and depend on Him.  How do I instill this?  Remind them to pray for themselves daily.  Remind them to ask Him for help.

8.  to be someone who promotes God and not self.  We live in a world that loves to call attention to "self". Our lives were made to call attention to Him and bring Him glory.  How do I instill this? By talking to them about true humility: not promoting self, letting others praise them.

9.  to be an encourager:  Be someone who strives to build others up and not tear them down. Speak words that are helpful and not hurtful.  How?  By pointing out their strengths regularly.  (I like to write in a journal to them each week.)  By disciplining them for tearing down their siblings. 

10.  be someone who accepts responsibility for wrongdoing.  I want them to learn to take responsibility  quickly and not make excuses.  They need to learn to ask for forgiveness from the individual and from God quickly.  How?  When I mess up, I need to apologize quickly and pray and ask God for forgiveness in front of them. 

     As I have jotted these ten things down, I have realized that the example that I provide for them is crucial.  

Am I someone who reads the Word and prays often? Do they see me reading the Word?

Am I someone who serves others and gives to others?

Do I cultivate a thankful heart often or do I have a discontented heart?

Do they hear me tearing others down or building others up?

Do they hear me depending on God throughout the day?

Do they see me living a humble life or do they see me calling attention to myself?

Am I someone who confesses wrongdoing quickly?

What I do matters.  What I say matters.  Who I am matters.  This mommy stuff is a huge challenge.  With God on our side, we can do this.  We can. We really can.  Hugs to all of you courageous moms!

My Mommy Prayer

     Mommyhood is a high calling.  It is so rewarding.  I love being a mom.  I love my boys.  Some days are hard.  Some days are really hard.  Some days I miss the mark.  Yesterday, I missed the mark.  I raised my voice at my little guy.  He didn't deserve it.  Nobody deserves it.  I messed up.  I took responsibility and apologized to God, to him, and to my family.  I felt like a terrible mom for the rest of the day.  I know God forgives me.  It's hard to forgive myself.

What can I do?

1.  I can guard my schedule so I have energy for my family.

2.  I can limit our activities after school and make sure our family has "down time".

3.  I can pray throughout the day for myself.  My favorite verse to pray as a mom is Col. 3:12 "Clothe yourselves (daily) with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

4.  I can stop expecting perfection from myself.  The truth is I am going to mess up as a mom.  I am human.  I am flawed.  I have to let go of the idea that I must be a perfect mom. When I mess up, I need to take responsibility.  I need to look for "progress" in my life not "perfection".

5.  I can read this "Mommy Prayer" over and over again.  I compiled this list of mommy reminders from some of my favorite parenting books.

You can download this for free when you click on the link:

Mommy Prayer printable:

Here are the written words of the prayer:

God, help me to:

put on kindness

put on tenderhearted mercy

be gentle and not harsh

use empathy in instruction

stay calm

respond not react

train/instruct in love

listen, really listen

smile often          enjoy my child

touch or hug my child

point out my child's strengths

remember my child is a precious gift

build up my child

spend time with my child

and pray like crazy.

For a closer look at how I choose to instruct my little guys check out my blog entry called "Disciplining/Instructing the little ones."

Cultivating Friendships between Siblings

    

    I believe the desire of every mom's heart is for her children to be the best of friends.  I know this is something I think about quite often.  What can I do to cultivate this as a mom?

1.  I can encourage them to work out their issues on their own.

2.  I can provide a home in which I do not compare the children to one another.

3.  I can provide a home where tearing down one another, name calling, and aggravating one another is not acceptable.

4.  I can praise them when I see them choosing to get along or choosing to be kind to a sibling. (Check out my kindness jar post.)

5.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, I can pray God's Word over them.

Here are the scriptures  I have collected from the Message Bible to pray over them:

God, help them not to be hot headed or quick tempered with one another.  Prov 14 MSG

God, remind them to respond gently to one another.  Prov. 15:1 MSG

Let their words be kind and helpful towards one another.  Prov. 15:4 MSG

Remind them that when they overlook an offense, they bond a friendship.  (in other words help them to tattle less!)  Prov 17 MSG

Prompt them to get along with each other and to be considerate of one another.  1 Cor 1:10 MSG

God, help them to find common ground with each other.  1 Cor 9:22 MSG

Lord, may they speak encouraging words to one another and build one another up.  1 Thes 5 MSG

May their love for one another grow.  2 Thes. 1:3  MSG

Help them to love one another deeply.  1 Pet 1:22 MSG

Let them be agreeable, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble towards one another.  1 Pet. 3

Remind them not to compare themselves to one another.  Gal 5 MSG

Help them to agree with each other, love each other, and be deep spirited friends.  Phil 2 MSG

God, may they be even tempered with one another, content with second place, and quick to forgive each other.  Col 3:13 MSG

100 Point Summer Challenge

"She watches over the ways of her household"  Prov 31 :27 KJV

  I have four boys ages 12, 9,7, and 5.  Last year I found myself getting a little anxious when summer rolled around.  Because we live in the desert, we are usually inside all day long, and I mean all day long.  Of course we go to the pool and go on outtings, but most of our time is spent at home.  My ultimate goal is to limit their time with technology.  In the summer,  I do allow them to play on the computer or video games or watch tv for up to two hours a day.  Last year, I devised this plan to keep them busy and it was really successful. The boys can accumulate 100 points each month.  I composed a chart for June and then for July.  Once an activity is finished, they are responsible for placing the appropriate number of "x's"  on their chart.  When they accrue 100 points I give them a 10 dollar gift card or 10 dollars cash.  Here is the point system I use:

read for 30 minutes:  3 points
play with a brother for 30 minutes:  3 points
draw for 20 minutes:  2 points
do a craft project for 20 minutes:  2 points
exercise for 15 minutes:  2 points
jump on the trampoline for 15 minutes:  2 points
throw football passes for 15 minutes:  2 points
build with legos for 30 minutes:  3 points
play ping pong for 15 minutes:  2 points
play a board game for 20 minutes:  2 points
play cards for 20 minutes:  2 points

You can create your own point system.  A poster board taped to the wall works really well for this.  Here is a picture of our chart:

As this summer approaches, I am finding myself less anxious because of this system.  Hugs to all of you amazing moms.

Birth Order....Parenting Tips

 

     I compiled these lists from Kevin Leman's books called The Birth Order Book  and Firstborns.  I am a HUGE fan of his.  He has written over 30 books on parenting and marriage. I highly recommend for you to check out his books.  Before you read over the lists, please note there are several factors that can impact the birth order such as spacing of age, the gender of the kids, blended families, etc.  This is a cheat sheet for you non-readers and for me just to refer back to OFTEN!! : )

FIRST BORNS:

Positives:   
They tend to be reliable, responsible, leaders, achievers, diligent, hard workers,etc. They get much glory for all of their accomplishments.

Negatives:
They are hard on themselves.  They can become discouraged because of perfectionism tendencies.  They can be critical of others.

Parenting Tips:           
Try to point out their positive qualities and not just their flaws all of the time.  Don't give them more responsibilities all of the time just because they are older.  Don't be overly hard on them, because they are already hard on themselves.

MIDDLE CHILDREN:

Positives:    
They tend to be social and have many friends.  They tend to be the peacemakers.  They can be artistic and inventive.

Negatives:    
Sometimes this child may not get as much as attention as the older and the younger so they try to draw attention to themselves and act out.  They tend to be people pleasers instead of leaders.

Parenting Tips:             
This child needs you to help him/her find their place.  Accept the child for who he or she is.  Give this child attention.  Instead of always giving this child hand-me-downs, make this child feel special by buying them new things.  Listen to this child.  Make a big deal about his or her achievements. Let them pick the family outtings sometimes.

LAST BORNS:

Positives:     
This child tends to be more social than the other siblings.  This child gets a lot of glory for being so cute or charming.  They want to have fun.  They can also be creative.

Negatives:    
This child can be manipulative.  Because this child gets so much attention, he or she may struggle at times with being self centered instead of "others centered".

Parenting Tips:        
Try to discipline this child the same as you do the older ones.  There is a tendency to go easy on this child.  Resist that.  Give the youngest child responsibilities.  Make a big deal about his achievements.

Only Children:

These children have many of the same qualities as the first born because they get so much attention.  They tend to be harder on themselves than first borns.  Please see the characteristics of the FIRST BORNS.


IN CONCLUSION:

This parenting stuff is a high calling.  It is a big job.  God, please give us wisdom and insight with our children.  Help us every day to love our children and accept them for who they are.  Help us to be fair.  Help us to give them all the attention they need.  Help our children to feel loved and accepted by us.  We need Your help every day Lord.  Hugs to you all.