About Me

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I have been married to my incredible hubby for 14 years. We have four rowdy, growing boys. I love to gather ideas from other mommies and books. My heart is to share some of these with you and encourage you in this adventure.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Six Struggles

     Being a stay-at-home mom is a privilege and a blessing.  I am very thankful that God has allowed me to be at home with the boys.  Of course there have been times when our budget has been tight, but I don't mind.  It's worth it.  I totally admire my mom friends that work. You simply amaze me.

     Being at home with the kids has numerous benefits but at times there are struggles.  I have made an attempt to discuss six of the struggles that I have faced.  I am sure there are more that stay at home moms face.

1.  Loneliness:  After having children, I quit my job and I didn't have any close friends.  I knew several women, but I didn't have intimate friends.  I began praying and over time the Lord supplied me with several close friends.  We also have moved several times, and I learned to initiate and open my home for playdates.  So if you are lonely, pray and ask the Lord for close friends and initiate.  

2.  Overscheduled:  I have learned that being a stay-at-home mom results in many requests for my time.  I have been guilty week after week of not protecting my schedule.  I am the keeper of my schedule.  I have to constantly remind myself that saying "no" is okay.  My goal is to save my energy for my family.  If I overextend myself during the day, my family will pay in the evenings because I turn into a short fused, irritable, grouchy woman.  So guard your schedule! 

3.   Superwoman Syndrome:  As a young mom, I thought I was weak if I asked for help.  I thought that being strong and independent was admirable.  It took me several years to learn to receive help.  I learned that by letting others help me, my friendships grew even stronger.  So I encourage you to let others help you.  So learn to receive help. (I'm still not very good at this!)

4.  My worth:  Sometimes, I forget my worth.  When I was in college or working, my performance was measured easily.  Some days I don't grasp my value or worth.  I have to remind myself often that loving my family and serving them is one of the highest callings.  So please don't forget that you are doing kingdom work. 

5.  Comparison:  When I was a young mom, I constantly looked around at other moms.  I remember looking at one mom and thinking, "Man, she has it all together."   It wasn't until I got to know her on a more personal level that I saw that she wasn't perfect.  She had weaknesses.  That was a great lesson because it taught me that none of us have it all together.  We all have weaknesses.  So resist the tendency to compare! 

6.  Perfectionism:  This is a really big struggle for me.  I am my worst enemy.  I really want to be a wonderful mom and wife.  When I miss the mark,  I feel so guilty and shame myself.  I don't get over it quickly.  I have learned that sometimes my expectations are way to high.  They are unrealistic. For example, I thought that I should never lose it with my children.  This is a great goal but not realistic.  I need to work on setting realistic expectations for myself and I need to accept God's grace quickly.  I need to quit trying so hard to be a super extraordinary mom.  Being a good mom is enough.  Really it is.  So be realistic in your expectations and receive grace from God when you blow it. 

  I am sure there are other struggles.  I am still asking the Lord to help me in these struggles.  Progress.  It's all we need to look for.  So just to recap:

1.  You were made to do life with friends.
2.  Protect your schedule.
3.  Let others help you.
4.  Remind yourself that you are doing kingdom work.
5.  Refuse to compare yourself.
6.  Have realistic expectations and receive grace.

Hugs to all of you precious moms.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

5 Things


Just a side note.  I took this pic for my chilly Oklahoma friend! Ha! Stay warm friends!  

     I sat down with my pen and paper over the holidays and thought about the upcoming year.  My thoughts wandered to what kind of mom I want to be in 2014.  I thought about 5 different areas and all I am really hoping for in each area is progress.   Thanks for reading my ramblings! 

May my boys see me as:

1.  a mom who believes and trusts in a Mighty and Big God that holds it all together.  The future is uncertain for all of us.  The news tells us almost daily of horrific crimes of violence or of life taking disasters.  Quite honestly, the news can paralyze us with fear.  May I tell myself and my children often that God holds it all together.  In Him, we are held together.  He holds the planets, the stars, and every living creature.   

Colossians 1 MSG  "He holds all things together.  In Him all things hold together."

2.  a mom who chooses to connect with God often instead of technology.  We are made to be connectors.  God wants to connect with us daily.  The world screams at us to connect via twitter, FB, text, and etc.  None of these are bad, if guardrails are set in place.  I am the boys example for technology.  Let the boys see a mom who sets guardrails with technology.  Just a side note...I love the blog www.handfreemama.com and she is releasing her first book this week.  Get a copy!  

3.  a mom who makes connecting with her hubby a priority.  My hubby and I are the children's example for marriage.  There are no perfect marriages or at least that's what I tell myself! So if yours is perfect, don't tell me! Ha!  May they see a healthy marriage, one that thrives instead of survives.  May they see us making one another a priority. 

4.  a mom who connects with her boys often.  May I study them and may the Lord give me common ground with each one.  This takes effort and time on my part!  It requires me to be more "people focused" than "task focused".  

5.  a mom who extends grace over and over again.  May I give grace to myself when I "blow it"  as a mom or as a wife.  May I extend grace to the boys when they miss the mark.  May I accept them and enjoy them and not try to "fix" them all of the time.  

Wishing you all a healthy New Years.   May your souls prosper.  Hugs to you all.  Thanks again for reading my ramblings. I apologize for using the word "may" over and over again in this post.  It's kind of a prayer so "may" just seemed to flow the best.