Goodnight Blessings

     I am reading the One Thousand Gifts Devotional by Ann Voskamp.  I highly recommend it.  On Day 36, she quoted C.S. Lewis as saying "The most fundamental thing is not how we think of God but rather what God thinks of us."  This really impacted me and I searched God's Word to see what He thinks of His children.  I collected several truths and I plan to post these by the boy's beds.  My youngest boy is six years old so he is able to read simple things.  If your children are younger, read these truths aloud over them.   The purpose of repitition is for these truths to sink way down deep into their hearts.  Pray and ask God to make their hearts tender to these truths and to Him.

These are the truths I have collected:

God cares about you deeply.

God is always close.

God cares about the details of your life.

God loves you all the time.

God loves you when you are good and when you mess up.

God watches over you as you come and go.

God has a special plan for your life.

God's plans for you are too numerous to list.


You can print out your own at this link for free!!
Goodnight Blessings:

 
 These are all based on scripture.  I wanted to keep them simple and easy for the boys.  Heck, I may even need to post these by my bed! : ) Hugs to all of you precious moms!!

10 Things

     We were at the beach with our boys.  I know that sounds blissful.  It was so much fun but vacation with four boys is still a lot of work and very busy to say the least. I brought the Message Bible along.  Truthfully, I don't always read the Bible on vacation, but this time I did.  I decided to read Philippians and the scripture that popped out at me was from Phil 2 "Provide people with a glimpse of good living and the living God".  I really thought about this verse.  I am not sure that I have done a great job of this, there is room for improvement.   Then I took it further.  What do I want to teach them about God's Word before they leave home.  I came up with 10 things for now.  Here it goes.

 I WANT TO TEACH THEM:

1.  about the Living God.  I can do this by drawing attention to His creation such as nature, animals, the weather, etc.  How? I can pray each day that I see Him at work and give Him the credit.  When we encounter hard things in our day, I can pause and pray out loud. 

2.  that God is entirely and completely trustworthy.  We may not always understand why things are happening and life can be hard.  I want them to realize He is always at work and He knows what is best for us.  He is always on our side and with us.  How? I can remind them time and time again of His faithfulness in our lives regarding moves, friendships, etc. 

3.  this more than anything else.... "LOVE GOD & LOVE PEOPLE".  They can know every Bible story but if they don't love people, they have missed it totally.   How can I teach them this?  By providing opporutunities for them to serve and to give to others.  I have this saying posted throughout the house (in the bathroom, in the kitchen).

4.  to cultivate a thankful heart each day.  A thankful heart helps us get our focus off of ourselves, off of the junk in our lives.  How?  I can provide an example of journaling thanks each day. ( I leave my thankful journal in the kitchen so they can spy it) I can encourage them to journal thanks as well. However, not every boy loves the idea of journaling.  

5.  to understand that God's love for them does not fluctuate.  God's love for us is not based on our behavior or our performance.  He does not love us more if we strive to be "perfect".  How can I help them grasp this? By reminding them in instruction/discipline that God loves them and so do I even when they blow it. 

6.  to realize there is always a negative and positive list in our lives. We can acknowledge the negative but our focus should be on the positive.  If we let our minds focus on the negative for too long, depression, discouragment, and defeat will be the result. How? When they are struggling, help them to see the positive list. 

7.  to depend on God daily.  We have to fight off self-reliance and independence.  We live in a world that pushes us to be strong and succeed.  God is drawn to us when we ask for His help and depend on Him.  How do I instill this?  Remind them to pray for themselves daily.  Remind them to ask Him for help.

8.  to be someone who promotes God and not self.  We live in a world that loves to call attention to "self". Our lives were made to call attention to Him and bring Him glory.  How do I instill this? By talking to them about true humility: not promoting self, letting others praise them.

9.  to be an encourager:  Be someone who strives to build others up and not tear them down. Speak words that are helpful and not hurtful.  How?  By pointing out their strengths regularly.  (I like to write in a journal to them each week.)  By disciplining them for tearing down their siblings. 

10.  be someone who accepts responsibility for wrongdoing.  I want them to learn to take responsibility  quickly and not make excuses.  They need to learn to ask for forgiveness from the individual and from God quickly.  How?  When I mess up, I need to apologize quickly and pray and ask God for forgiveness in front of them. 

     As I have jotted these ten things down, I have realized that the example that I provide for them is crucial.  

Am I someone who reads the Word and prays often? Do they see me reading the Word?

Am I someone who serves others and gives to others?

Do I cultivate a thankful heart often or do I have a discontented heart?

Do they hear me tearing others down or building others up?

Do they hear me depending on God throughout the day?

Do they see me living a humble life or do they see me calling attention to myself?

Am I someone who confesses wrongdoing quickly?

What I do matters.  What I say matters.  Who I am matters.  This mommy stuff is a huge challenge.  With God on our side, we can do this.  We can. We really can.  Hugs to all of you courageous moms!

My Mommy Prayer

     Mommyhood is a high calling.  It is so rewarding.  I love being a mom.  I love my boys.  Some days are hard.  Some days are really hard.  Some days I miss the mark.  Yesterday, I missed the mark.  I raised my voice at my little guy.  He didn't deserve it.  Nobody deserves it.  I messed up.  I took responsibility and apologized to God, to him, and to my family.  I felt like a terrible mom for the rest of the day.  I know God forgives me.  It's hard to forgive myself.

What can I do?

1.  I can guard my schedule so I have energy for my family.

2.  I can limit our activities after school and make sure our family has "down time".

3.  I can pray throughout the day for myself.  My favorite verse to pray as a mom is Col. 3:12 "Clothe yourselves (daily) with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."

4.  I can stop expecting perfection from myself.  The truth is I am going to mess up as a mom.  I am human.  I am flawed.  I have to let go of the idea that I must be a perfect mom. When I mess up, I need to take responsibility.  I need to look for "progress" in my life not "perfection".

5.  I can read this "Mommy Prayer" over and over again.  I compiled this list of mommy reminders from some of my favorite parenting books.

You can download this for free when you click on the link:

Mommy Prayer printable:

Here are the written words of the prayer:

God, help me to:

put on kindness

put on tenderhearted mercy

be gentle and not harsh

use empathy in instruction

stay calm

respond not react

train/instruct in love

listen, really listen

smile often          enjoy my child

touch or hug my child

point out my child's strengths

remember my child is a precious gift

build up my child

spend time with my child

and pray like crazy.

For a closer look at how I choose to instruct my little guys check out my blog entry called "Disciplining/Instructing the little ones."

Cultivating Friendships between Siblings

    

    I believe the desire of every mom's heart is for her children to be the best of friends.  I know this is something I think about quite often.  What can I do to cultivate this as a mom?

1.  I can encourage them to work out their issues on their own.

2.  I can provide a home in which I do not compare the children to one another.

3.  I can provide a home where tearing down one another, name calling, and aggravating one another is not acceptable.

4.  I can praise them when I see them choosing to get along or choosing to be kind to a sibling. (Check out my kindness jar post.)

5.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, I can pray God's Word over them.

Here are the scriptures  I have collected from the Message Bible to pray over them:

God, help them not to be hot headed or quick tempered with one another.  Prov 14 MSG

God, remind them to respond gently to one another.  Prov. 15:1 MSG

Let their words be kind and helpful towards one another.  Prov. 15:4 MSG

Remind them that when they overlook an offense, they bond a friendship.  (in other words help them to tattle less!)  Prov 17 MSG

Prompt them to get along with each other and to be considerate of one another.  1 Cor 1:10 MSG

God, help them to find common ground with each other.  1 Cor 9:22 MSG

Lord, may they speak encouraging words to one another and build one another up.  1 Thes 5 MSG

May their love for one another grow.  2 Thes. 1:3  MSG

Help them to love one another deeply.  1 Pet 1:22 MSG

Let them be agreeable, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble towards one another.  1 Pet. 3

Remind them not to compare themselves to one another.  Gal 5 MSG

Help them to agree with each other, love each other, and be deep spirited friends.  Phil 2 MSG

God, may they be even tempered with one another, content with second place, and quick to forgive each other.  Col 3:13 MSG

100 Point Summer Challenge

"She watches over the ways of her household"  Prov 31 :27 KJV

  I have four boys ages 12, 9,7, and 5.  Last year I found myself getting a little anxious when summer rolled around.  Because we live in the desert, we are usually inside all day long, and I mean all day long.  Of course we go to the pool and go on outtings, but most of our time is spent at home.  My ultimate goal is to limit their time with technology.  In the summer,  I do allow them to play on the computer or video games or watch tv for up to two hours a day.  Last year, I devised this plan to keep them busy and it was really successful. The boys can accumulate 100 points each month.  I composed a chart for June and then for July.  Once an activity is finished, they are responsible for placing the appropriate number of "x's"  on their chart.  When they accrue 100 points I give them a 10 dollar gift card or 10 dollars cash.  Here is the point system I use:

read for 30 minutes:  3 points
play with a brother for 30 minutes:  3 points
draw for 20 minutes:  2 points
do a craft project for 20 minutes:  2 points
exercise for 15 minutes:  2 points
jump on the trampoline for 15 minutes:  2 points
throw football passes for 15 minutes:  2 points
build with legos for 30 minutes:  3 points
play ping pong for 15 minutes:  2 points
play a board game for 20 minutes:  2 points
play cards for 20 minutes:  2 points

You can create your own point system.  A poster board taped to the wall works really well for this.  Here is a picture of our chart:

As this summer approaches, I am finding myself less anxious because of this system.  Hugs to all of you amazing moms.

Birth Order....Parenting Tips

 

     I compiled these lists from Kevin Leman's books called The Birth Order Book  and Firstborns.  I am a HUGE fan of his.  He has written over 30 books on parenting and marriage. I highly recommend for you to check out his books.  Before you read over the lists, please note there are several factors that can impact the birth order such as spacing of age, the gender of the kids, blended families, etc.  This is a cheat sheet for you non-readers and for me just to refer back to OFTEN!! : )

FIRST BORNS:

Positives:   
They tend to be reliable, responsible, leaders, achievers, diligent, hard workers,etc. They get much glory for all of their accomplishments.

Negatives:
They are hard on themselves.  They can become discouraged because of perfectionism tendencies.  They can be critical of others.

Parenting Tips:           
Try to point out their positive qualities and not just their flaws all of the time.  Don't give them more responsibilities all of the time just because they are older.  Don't be overly hard on them, because they are already hard on themselves.

MIDDLE CHILDREN:

Positives:    
They tend to be social and have many friends.  They tend to be the peacemakers.  They can be artistic and inventive.

Negatives:    
Sometimes this child may not get as much as attention as the older and the younger so they try to draw attention to themselves and act out.  They tend to be people pleasers instead of leaders.

Parenting Tips:             
This child needs you to help him/her find their place.  Accept the child for who he or she is.  Give this child attention.  Instead of always giving this child hand-me-downs, make this child feel special by buying them new things.  Listen to this child.  Make a big deal about his or her achievements. Let them pick the family outtings sometimes.

LAST BORNS:

Positives:     
This child tends to be more social than the other siblings.  This child gets a lot of glory for being so cute or charming.  They want to have fun.  They can also be creative.

Negatives:    
This child can be manipulative.  Because this child gets so much attention, he or she may struggle at times with being self centered instead of "others centered".

Parenting Tips:        
Try to discipline this child the same as you do the older ones.  There is a tendency to go easy on this child.  Resist that.  Give the youngest child responsibilities.  Make a big deal about his achievements.

Only Children:

These children have many of the same qualities as the first born because they get so much attention.  They tend to be harder on themselves than first borns.  Please see the characteristics of the FIRST BORNS.


IN CONCLUSION:

This parenting stuff is a high calling.  It is a big job.  God, please give us wisdom and insight with our children.  Help us every day to love our children and accept them for who they are.  Help us to be fair.  Help us to give them all the attention they need.  Help our children to feel loved and accepted by us.  We need Your help every day Lord.  Hugs to you all.

The Proverbs' Woman: 9 Attributes

     The Proverbs Woman is found in Chapter 31 of Proverbs.  To be honest reading about her can be quite intimidating.  I am far from being a Proverbs Woman, I mean like really far.  Over the past few days I have studied her.  I looked at 7 different translations of the Bible to compose a list of some of her characteristics.

     The opposite of being a Proverbs Woman would include the following:  pointing out the husband's flaws, being critical of the husband, having a complaining spirit, not being productive, not being a good steward with money, taking care of self is not a priority, speaking whatever comes to mind, being selfish with money and concerned only with self, feeding on trash (what she looks at during the day), worrying and fretting about things instead of praying.  OUCH.  I am going to list the 9 different attributes I compiled.  My challenge for myself and for you is to prayerfully ask the Lord which ones He would have us improve on in our lives.

The Proverbs Woman:

1.  She is noble, high minded (she does not feed on trash or nothingness.)  She is trustworthy.
Her husband is able to trust her fully.

2.  She comforts her husband and encourages him.  She does him good and is not spiteful (mean or revengeful).

3.  She is a hardworker.  She doesn't complain about her work.  She takes delight in it and senses the worth of her work.  She does not eat the bread of idleness.

4.  She is wise with money.  She puts money aside for times of need.

5.  She is prepared and organized.  She gets spiritual food for her family and stays grounded in the Lord.

6.  She takes care of herself.  She does not wear "mommy clothes" all day (Steph's translation).  She girds herself with strength (spiritual, mental, and physical for her God given tasks).

7.  She is the "watchman" of the home.  She keeps an eye on everyone in her home.  When trouble or sorrow or fear comes, she prays through the night.

8.  When she speaks, her words are kind, wise, and worthwhile.

9.  She is giving.  She reaches out to the poor and needy.

     There were many areas I could have chosen to work on with the Lord's help.  Here are the 3 I have chosen to focus on over the next few weeks:

1.  I can get into a complaining mode and talk about "how hard things are" or "how tired I am".  I am going to try to cultivate a thankful heart throughout the day.
2.  I often forget the value or worth of being a "stay at home mom".  I need to remind myself daily that it is a high calling and has great value in the eyes of the Lord.
3.  I need to make physical exercise a priority. I have had sick kids for over 2 weeks and my exercise routine is non-existent.

     Please look over the list and prayerfully ask God to show you an area.  I would love to know the area or areas you are going to focus on in the weeks ahead.  Please message me and I will be faithful to pray for you!!  Love to you all.