Birth Order....Parenting Tips

 

     I compiled these lists from Kevin Leman's books called The Birth Order Book  and Firstborns.  I am a HUGE fan of his.  He has written over 30 books on parenting and marriage. I highly recommend for you to check out his books.  Before you read over the lists, please note there are several factors that can impact the birth order such as spacing of age, the gender of the kids, blended families, etc.  This is a cheat sheet for you non-readers and for me just to refer back to OFTEN!! : )

FIRST BORNS:

Positives:   
They tend to be reliable, responsible, leaders, achievers, diligent, hard workers,etc. They get much glory for all of their accomplishments.

Negatives:
They are hard on themselves.  They can become discouraged because of perfectionism tendencies.  They can be critical of others.

Parenting Tips:           
Try to point out their positive qualities and not just their flaws all of the time.  Don't give them more responsibilities all of the time just because they are older.  Don't be overly hard on them, because they are already hard on themselves.

MIDDLE CHILDREN:

Positives:    
They tend to be social and have many friends.  They tend to be the peacemakers.  They can be artistic and inventive.

Negatives:    
Sometimes this child may not get as much as attention as the older and the younger so they try to draw attention to themselves and act out.  They tend to be people pleasers instead of leaders.

Parenting Tips:             
This child needs you to help him/her find their place.  Accept the child for who he or she is.  Give this child attention.  Instead of always giving this child hand-me-downs, make this child feel special by buying them new things.  Listen to this child.  Make a big deal about his or her achievements. Let them pick the family outtings sometimes.

LAST BORNS:

Positives:     
This child tends to be more social than the other siblings.  This child gets a lot of glory for being so cute or charming.  They want to have fun.  They can also be creative.

Negatives:    
This child can be manipulative.  Because this child gets so much attention, he or she may struggle at times with being self centered instead of "others centered".

Parenting Tips:        
Try to discipline this child the same as you do the older ones.  There is a tendency to go easy on this child.  Resist that.  Give the youngest child responsibilities.  Make a big deal about his achievements.

Only Children:

These children have many of the same qualities as the first born because they get so much attention.  They tend to be harder on themselves than first borns.  Please see the characteristics of the FIRST BORNS.


IN CONCLUSION:

This parenting stuff is a high calling.  It is a big job.  God, please give us wisdom and insight with our children.  Help us every day to love our children and accept them for who they are.  Help us to be fair.  Help us to give them all the attention they need.  Help our children to feel loved and accepted by us.  We need Your help every day Lord.  Hugs to you all.