Connecting with Children

     We have not always done a great job of connecting with our children.  To be quite honest, connecting with four children can be overwhelming.  It is important to us to connect with them on a personal level but for years we stumbled around and we were inconsistent.  For the past two years, we have implemented a routine that works really well for us.

Connecting at home:  It is easy for me to connect with two of my children at home.  They enjoy playing board games, pool, or tossing the football.  I have struggled to find ways to connect with the other two. I have studied them and prayed and asked God to show me ways to connect with them.  I have found in recent months they just like me to watch them ride their skateboards or sit near them and watch them read or play a video game.  They just want to be with me.  Study your child and ask God to give you common ground with your child.  

Connecting outside of the home: This is the area that was highly challenging for my hubby and I .  We wanted to take them on "daddy/mommy dates" but we got overwhelmed with trying to do this on a monthly basis.  Now we have found a routine.  My husband takes two children a month on individual dates.  This seems to be manageable for our family.  Find a routine that works well for your family.

Three tips for the dates (my boys call them "trips"):  I usually let them pick the outing.  Sometimes they pick going to a movie, to dinner, or on a hike.  I have found that "time" is the key factor.  Early on I made the mistake of taking them to Target to let them pick out something to buy, but I realy didn't spend time with them.  Now, if I want to buy them something, we go to the park first or for ice cream.  The second tip involves playing "The Would You Rather Game".  My younger two boys love me to ask them random questions in the car and it usually leads to deeper conversations.  My last tip is that I try to end the dates by telling them five things I love about them.  Some of them really "light up" and some of them just nod.  

Connecting through a journal:  The last way that I try to connect with the boys is through a journal.  I got this wonderful idea off of pinterest last year.  Each week I write a simple note to each boy in their journal pointing out their strengths for the week.  Some of the boys love this and are very grateful while some of the boys don't show much emotion but that's okay with me!

It is truly busy trying to connect with each child but it so worth it.  I also have to remind myself often to connect with my hubby and do special things for him.  I have to say that connecting with the Lord each day helps me in the crazy but fun journey of parenthood.  I would love to hear your ideas as well!!  Hugs to all of you precious moms.